Me, in my natural blogging state, dressed in yellow track pants, a blankie and begging a kitty to join me..
I can't believe it's almost been a year since I started blogging. Before I decided to start a fashion blog, I did two things. I borrowed the book 'Blogging for Dummies' from the library and I committed to myself that if I did start a blog, I would do it for at least a year and post consistently like fibre. I'm going to go ahead and give myself a gold star right now. I would love to post more but with the exception of spotty Internet connections in Europe, I did manage to post very consistently.
Now that it's been a year, I really wanted to do a post regarding my experiences during the last year; good or bad. Most of the time, this blog has a frivolous tone, which suits me fine. I don't like to get too personal in this forum and I like to keep the focus on fashion. But to make this post honest, I do think I'm going to have to talk about those things I like to keep hidden; my feelings. I'm sorry if you came here for pictures, if you want to see something nice, check out this post from Rumi, who managed to make a F21 dress (one of the ones you pick up and laugh about, wondering if it's a shirt or dress and who the heck would wear that?) look, well, downright pretty. This may be a long post, so grab a snack...
A year of blogging; the good, the bad and the ugly.
The good!
1. It's no secret that one of the best things about fashion blogging is community. I had no idea at first that fashion bloggers were all inter-linked. I remember when Danielle from Fell 4 Fashion gave me my first fashion blogger comment on my blog. I probably threw a cat, I was so excited!Watch out world! Danielle knows me!!! And now, I've got this whole group of people I've never met but I would call friends. I've got my blogging bosom buddies, my thrifting soul sisters, and my witty-comment exchanging wise-asses! In a non-creepy way, I love you guys...
2. I fell back in love with thrifting. Buying second hand clothes was never a big deal for me, actually it was a way of life. Being in a big family on a tight budget meant that I grew up with thrifted clothes. This last year I started to thrift more often again and I'm too good at it. In fact, yesterday at the Talize 50% off sale (that had been picked over... no good purses left), I found 5 dresses, 2 skirts, a shirt, a shirt for Matt and a skirt each for my friend and her two daughters (to ease the guilt of my excessiveness) for $55.
3. I am having too much fun dressing up. I've always loved fashion and clothes but I was afraid to get 'too crazy'. Now, as long as I feel comfortable and like myself, I get crazy. No longer afraid to try new things, dressing up has become about endless opportunities instead of trying to tame the clothing beast that lives within (her name is Zelda and she survives off Diet Coke and peanut butter and crackers.)
4. I'm writing regularly again. It's nice to be writing more than just your name on credit card receipts...
5. I always knew Matt was patient and kind but he has shown that in so many ways by putting up with my blogging and being my picture taker. I love him so much, that for Valentine's Day, I'm going to give him a hug. Ok, for real... Matt you are my person and I love you.
The Bad
1. The amount of time I spend blogging is obscene. Between deciding what to wear, taking outfit pictures, writing posts, uploading picture properly and checking out all the lovely other blogs, I've got myself a part-time job which doesn't pay. I'm going to put a little blame on my computer which is hating me and decides to be very slow at uploading pages, but the bulk of the blame lies with me and the way that blogging can take over my life. Thankfully, Matt has the patience of a saint and in the winter I do have more free time but I can't continue on like this. There needs to be more balance. I basically need a faster computer. Haha, that is not a good solution... You know in elementary school you get a grade for 'using time wisely'? I think I'm failing... how do you guys balance it?
2. I'm spending more money on clothes. No, I'm not jumping on the name brand train and trying to buy myself fabulousness with a pair of Gucci sunglasses... My shopping habits are the same as they ever were, scoping out thrift stores and clearance racks armed with pepper spray, they've just increased in number. As nice as it is to have this confidence to wear whatever I want, when I want, it has opened up the shopping possibilities too much. Before I would leave behind that wicked but impossible dress; now the same dress is a possibility and I buy it. In the last year my closet has expanded by 1.5 rolling racks and a new cupboard. This is not sustainable for a landscaper like me, who does spend most of her time in shorts and steel-toes... I need to curb it (not fun to write that down) or find a way to turn my passion for clothing into something legitimate. That said, the 5 dresses I bought yesterday, I would have been crazy to leave them behind... sigh, I have a sickness, don't I?
The Ugly
1. I want to leave it at that... just the good and the bad but that's not fair. The ugly side of fashion blogging is a side effect I had not expected at all. Jealousy. I don't want to write it down and I don't want to admit to it but it plagues me. That stupid 'Blogging for Dummies' book obviously forgot one chapter, 'I'm a decent-ish person, why do I feel like a jealous b!tch?'. I'm not talking about jealousy over clothing or body-types, I'm talking about blog-induced jealousy. I never expected when I started my blog that my moods would be so affected by the numbers in blogging... How many followers do I have? How many comments? That's not even so bad... in truth, I am so thankful for every follower and your comments mean the world. I remember once that I just couldn't post about fashion and I wrote a rather reflective post... I was blown away by your comments, your understanding and encouragement. When I look at how far my blog has come in a year, I'm a happy camper (or blogger, as I don't really love camping...). The jealousy problem really arises when I look at the success of others. The devil in my head asks 'why does she have so many followers? why does she have that many comments? why was she featured in a magazine? why is she wearing polyester?'... it gets worse, 'she's selling out by joining Chictopia, by accepting advertising, by leaving 200 comments a day...'. Thankfully, there is a sensible side of me, that tells me to stop thinking horrible thoughts, to focus on what I'm doing and not put others down on the basis of their success. There is also a sensible Matt, who often reminds me of why I started blogging (to write and to dress) and how I'm accomplishing those goals. This jealousy does not invade all I do in blogging... when I comment 'I like your dress', chances are I like your dress and I like you.
Please don't think I'm a bad apple now, I just think it's time we talked openly about nature of numbers within blogging. You know what? If someone could chime in right now and say 'I know what you mean about jealousy', I'd feel a smiggen better.
I love fashion blogging and I love the people I've met. I don't love the green monster on my shoulder who makes me think mean thoughts. I hope that by exposing him, it's the first step to banishing him from my life (I hope he'll banish but if he doesn't, I hope he takes a long furlough far away). I want to re-iterate my goals for blogging... to write, meet new people and have fun in my wardrobe. I'm NOT looking to make this my full-time job. The best case scenario would be that someone reads this and decides I could write a good fashion column while landscaping or wants to sign me to write a novel. I've said before I'd be a wicked romance novelist ('her breath caught in her throat and she shuddered with desire as his lips crushed hers in an all encompassing kiss'... not bad?) and I think I could do chick-lit too (Kate decided that Tom looked like Jared Leto, cute but a little too old to be wearing eyeliner. She had better stop drinking martinis though because Tom might start to look like Jared Leto from his 'My So-Called Life' days, and then she'd be in trouble.)
Wow, this is the most exhausted I've ever been after writing a post, I feel pretty exposed. You're probably exhausted too after reading all this drivel... sorry. I am very curious to hear your input though...
Don't worry, tomorrow will mark a return to useless fashion broadcasting and hopefully a 'best of' series to come too... Once again, I know it can't be said often enough but thank-you for all your positive encouragement and for your readership over this last year!
xoixoxoiioxo (The 'i's' are gold stars. I want you to have them too...)
Now that it's been a year, I really wanted to do a post regarding my experiences during the last year; good or bad. Most of the time, this blog has a frivolous tone, which suits me fine. I don't like to get too personal in this forum and I like to keep the focus on fashion. But to make this post honest, I do think I'm going to have to talk about those things I like to keep hidden; my feelings. I'm sorry if you came here for pictures, if you want to see something nice, check out this post from Rumi, who managed to make a F21 dress (one of the ones you pick up and laugh about, wondering if it's a shirt or dress and who the heck would wear that?) look, well, downright pretty. This may be a long post, so grab a snack...
A year of blogging; the good, the bad and the ugly.
The good!
1. It's no secret that one of the best things about fashion blogging is community. I had no idea at first that fashion bloggers were all inter-linked. I remember when Danielle from Fell 4 Fashion gave me my first fashion blogger comment on my blog. I probably threw a cat, I was so excited!Watch out world! Danielle knows me!!! And now, I've got this whole group of people I've never met but I would call friends. I've got my blogging bosom buddies, my thrifting soul sisters, and my witty-comment exchanging wise-asses! In a non-creepy way, I love you guys...
2. I fell back in love with thrifting. Buying second hand clothes was never a big deal for me, actually it was a way of life. Being in a big family on a tight budget meant that I grew up with thrifted clothes. This last year I started to thrift more often again and I'm too good at it. In fact, yesterday at the Talize 50% off sale (that had been picked over... no good purses left), I found 5 dresses, 2 skirts, a shirt, a shirt for Matt and a skirt each for my friend and her two daughters (to ease the guilt of my excessiveness) for $55.
3. I am having too much fun dressing up. I've always loved fashion and clothes but I was afraid to get 'too crazy'. Now, as long as I feel comfortable and like myself, I get crazy. No longer afraid to try new things, dressing up has become about endless opportunities instead of trying to tame the clothing beast that lives within (her name is Zelda and she survives off Diet Coke and peanut butter and crackers.)
4. I'm writing regularly again. It's nice to be writing more than just your name on credit card receipts...
5. I always knew Matt was patient and kind but he has shown that in so many ways by putting up with my blogging and being my picture taker. I love him so much, that for Valentine's Day, I'm going to give him a hug. Ok, for real... Matt you are my person and I love you.
The Bad
1. The amount of time I spend blogging is obscene. Between deciding what to wear, taking outfit pictures, writing posts, uploading picture properly and checking out all the lovely other blogs, I've got myself a part-time job which doesn't pay. I'm going to put a little blame on my computer which is hating me and decides to be very slow at uploading pages, but the bulk of the blame lies with me and the way that blogging can take over my life. Thankfully, Matt has the patience of a saint and in the winter I do have more free time but I can't continue on like this. There needs to be more balance. I basically need a faster computer. Haha, that is not a good solution... You know in elementary school you get a grade for 'using time wisely'? I think I'm failing... how do you guys balance it?
2. I'm spending more money on clothes. No, I'm not jumping on the name brand train and trying to buy myself fabulousness with a pair of Gucci sunglasses... My shopping habits are the same as they ever were, scoping out thrift stores and clearance racks armed with pepper spray, they've just increased in number. As nice as it is to have this confidence to wear whatever I want, when I want, it has opened up the shopping possibilities too much. Before I would leave behind that wicked but impossible dress; now the same dress is a possibility and I buy it. In the last year my closet has expanded by 1.5 rolling racks and a new cupboard. This is not sustainable for a landscaper like me, who does spend most of her time in shorts and steel-toes... I need to curb it (not fun to write that down) or find a way to turn my passion for clothing into something legitimate. That said, the 5 dresses I bought yesterday, I would have been crazy to leave them behind... sigh, I have a sickness, don't I?
The Ugly
1. I want to leave it at that... just the good and the bad but that's not fair. The ugly side of fashion blogging is a side effect I had not expected at all. Jealousy. I don't want to write it down and I don't want to admit to it but it plagues me. That stupid 'Blogging for Dummies' book obviously forgot one chapter, 'I'm a decent-ish person, why do I feel like a jealous b!tch?'. I'm not talking about jealousy over clothing or body-types, I'm talking about blog-induced jealousy. I never expected when I started my blog that my moods would be so affected by the numbers in blogging... How many followers do I have? How many comments? That's not even so bad... in truth, I am so thankful for every follower and your comments mean the world. I remember once that I just couldn't post about fashion and I wrote a rather reflective post... I was blown away by your comments, your understanding and encouragement. When I look at how far my blog has come in a year, I'm a happy camper (or blogger, as I don't really love camping...). The jealousy problem really arises when I look at the success of others. The devil in my head asks 'why does she have so many followers? why does she have that many comments? why was she featured in a magazine? why is she wearing polyester?'... it gets worse, 'she's selling out by joining Chictopia, by accepting advertising, by leaving 200 comments a day...'. Thankfully, there is a sensible side of me, that tells me to stop thinking horrible thoughts, to focus on what I'm doing and not put others down on the basis of their success. There is also a sensible Matt, who often reminds me of why I started blogging (to write and to dress) and how I'm accomplishing those goals. This jealousy does not invade all I do in blogging... when I comment 'I like your dress', chances are I like your dress and I like you.
Please don't think I'm a bad apple now, I just think it's time we talked openly about nature of numbers within blogging. You know what? If someone could chime in right now and say 'I know what you mean about jealousy', I'd feel a smiggen better.
I love fashion blogging and I love the people I've met. I don't love the green monster on my shoulder who makes me think mean thoughts. I hope that by exposing him, it's the first step to banishing him from my life (I hope he'll banish but if he doesn't, I hope he takes a long furlough far away). I want to re-iterate my goals for blogging... to write, meet new people and have fun in my wardrobe. I'm NOT looking to make this my full-time job. The best case scenario would be that someone reads this and decides I could write a good fashion column while landscaping or wants to sign me to write a novel. I've said before I'd be a wicked romance novelist ('her breath caught in her throat and she shuddered with desire as his lips crushed hers in an all encompassing kiss'... not bad?) and I think I could do chick-lit too (Kate decided that Tom looked like Jared Leto, cute but a little too old to be wearing eyeliner. She had better stop drinking martinis though because Tom might start to look like Jared Leto from his 'My So-Called Life' days, and then she'd be in trouble.)
Wow, this is the most exhausted I've ever been after writing a post, I feel pretty exposed. You're probably exhausted too after reading all this drivel... sorry. I am very curious to hear your input though...
Don't worry, tomorrow will mark a return to useless fashion broadcasting and hopefully a 'best of' series to come too... Once again, I know it can't be said often enough but thank-you for all your positive encouragement and for your readership over this last year!
xoixoxoiioxo (The 'i's' are gold stars. I want you to have them too...)
Jentine
80 comments :
I really love this post and I hope you know (I'm thinking you do) that you are NOT alone in having these thoughts. Now I only just started blogging a few weeks ago but I recall already asking my boyfriend "why does she have so many comments? She just puts together a lot of really expensive crap" <-- nice, Celine, really. I think it's totally normal to have those kind of feelings and what really matters is being able to step back and identify them as being silly. You know? It's much more problematic to deny ever having normal, human emotions than to face them. Anyway, sorry for the novel. I do love your blog. And I'm with you on needing to cut down some. OK, a lot.
I've been reading your blog consistently for about 6 months now and I have to say you are my favorite blogger. Seriously. I really enjoy your humor and and sarcasm and, of course, your style. My previous favorite blog (which wil remain unnamed) has started accepting sponsorships, tons of free gifts, and write-ups in lots of magazines. And you know what? I barely like the blog anyone. I know people's styles change with time but I feel she has strayed so far from what she used to be and is kind of snotty now. (I know, It's hard to get a true sense of snottiness from reading one's blog but I think I am right about this!) Anyway, I just wanted to say you are doing a great job. The thing I like most about you is that you keep it real. You have a life outside of clothing- or so it appears at least!
Yeah the jelousy monster. It gets to me to, but I have learned to say "I don't really care", Try it, it's fun.. "I don't really care"
On that note Holly Courtney, who is it? It's killing me! Tell me tell me...
P.s. You forgot to add to the good "my hilariously witty friend Linda and I share the blog world and talk more now because of it. I love her, she is great, my favorite person ever"...so if you want to..
I feel the same way - I always let myself feel that my blog is so inadequate! But as pathetic as this sounds, I'm realistic enough to realize that I'm not even in your "blogosphere"! ha ha! I hate the fact I even compare myself to real fashionistas like you! lol!
I ADORE your blog and think it is worth the extra money you spend and the bits of jealousy you get every now and then. The good outweighs the bad and ugly completely! You have exquisite artistic talent and fabulous style!
FANTASTIC POST!! I love your blog, Not only for your style, but for your humor and your writing. I would totally buy a book if you wrote one.
Keep up the fantastic you are doing!!!!
Consistent reader, but I think this is the first time I have commented.
Just so you know, I do *totally* know what you mean about blogging jealousy (and unfortunately so does my husband because he is kind enough to listen to me when I am frustrated). There is something about investing so much of yourself to make just one post that it hurts when you don't get the numbers/comments back. Which is too bad, because I never started my blog so that people would write a million comments.
I also spend hours and hours writing posts, and don't know how some people have time to blog as much as they do, it's crazy!
Anyway. I love your blog, and hope you feel some validation in numbers. I think its just part of the blogging game.
XOXO Madeline
uberchicforcheap.blogspot.com
@Holly Courtney, I think I know who you are talking about and I have also lost interest! It's a shame too....
Have you been reading my thoughts? No? Are you sure?
Everything you have written I think myself. I love blogging and I can still remember the excitment of my first comment; and I definitely spend way more money on clothes than I ever did before. And you are right not because I am buying designer brands, but because I am thrifting every weekend or see someone sporting a great dress and now I want one just like it. LOL Also, my favorite part of blogging is all the wonderful people I have met... I love your blog and I am so glad we "met". I get so excited when I see a comment from you or when I see you have a new outfit posted.
Anyways, thanks for keeping at it, making me laugh with your great witt, and giving me some wonderful inspiration.
I love this post! Thank you for sharing all of this. I am very, very new to the world of fashion blogging (or blogging in general) and I am enjoying (tremendously) the feeling of community that has come along with it. Honesty is one of the things that keeps the blogging world a genuinely (sp?) creative space and you have just contributed greatly to that....in my humble, new to the blogging world opinion. I love your blog. I read it every day. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing!
I join the chorus of "I love your blog, Jentine!" Seriously, it is one of my favorites. Yes, your style is awesome, yes, you've got the best sense of humor. But you're also honest and I just love that. I also wish the day would spawn another few hours just meant for blogging, and that I wouldn't be interested at all in who has how many readers or commenters or followers, but it's refreshing to hear someone say it.
And if you ever publish a trashy novel, I'd totally buy it. An all encompassing kiss? Yowza!
I was going to write this anyway, and especially now that you specifically asked- I totally get the jealousy thing. "She wears the same black, boring outfit and high heels every day- why does she get into five magazines and have hundreds of bilingual followers?" But then, I get that way any time I try to do something well and others are valued who are not doing it the way I thought it should be.
I get the same way when my best friend/recent ex says that a girl is hot that I think is wimpy and weird. Why is she being valued? She's doing it all wrong!
First off, congrats on your blogiversary.
I remember discovering your blog last summer and reading through your archives pretty quickly after that. I thought that you had a great sense of style and knew what looked good on you, but more importantly, I loved your sense of humor and felt like I could relate to you. I still think all these things now. I really love reading your blog everyday!
About the jealousy thing --- thanks for voicing this. It must be some unspoken thought that many fashion bloggers have. I think these things often, but I try to remember why I started: to chronicle my love of clothes.
I agree, the best part of all of this is the supportive, wonderful blogging community. As Amy said above, I'm glad to have "met" you as well! :)
- JoAnn, Sidewalk Chalk
I love you for being so fantastically honest, Jentine. I can relate to everything you've said here, 100%. Blogging is completely transformative, but sometimes the transformations are annoying and painful! Don't give up on it, though. I'd miss you terribly if you disappeared!
I completely agree with you! I've only been blogging for 3 months and I'm already experiencing your good,bad, and ugly! I get jealous too, but I realize it's about things that don't really matter or are unattainable. I'd love to splurge on fancy things to show off, but I'm a college student and my blog has to be real and about my life! Getting focused on numbers happens, but then when I get a post with 7 comments over night! I feel so happy, I'd rather have a handful of people who really like my blog, than 500 followers who never check it!
You are an inspiration, just remember that!
lizzypunch.blogspot.com
You nailed it all... the good, the bad and the ugly. Like you, I just want to have fun. A fashion blog for me is a way to channel my fun self and my love for fashion. Just that! xoxo
Congrats on a year!!!!!
I find myself feeling the need to go thrift shopping more now b/c I am like "what am I going to write about if I don't buy anything, take pictures of the crap I buy to show all my blogging friends, etc?"
Also I think John thinks I am weirder now. He frequently sees me creeping off to a weird corner of the apartment w/ my camera and a necklace and he just shakes his head and knows I am "blogging".
So glad you started your blog and we have become friends!
What a wonderful post! I don't think I have commented here before, but I have been visiting on a daily basis. love your style, love your sense of humor!
aaaahh! FINALLY my profile pic shows up! This is the first time it has shown in ANY blog! yay!
I totally saw myself in this post...you made me laugh and nod my head vigorously in agreement.
I started following your blog not too long ago and have enjoyed every post thus far! Not to mention that I adore your header and intend to fully replicate that look when my feet, in pumps, won't be covered in 20 inches of snow.
Write on!
-Eleanor
http://shoppingthecloset.blogspot.com
Ditto to all you said...
I remember telling myself in the beginning that I was doing this for me, and that if no one else ever looked at my blog, I was still going to have fun with it.
That was before I was aware of hits, page loads, unique visitors, return visitors, comments, and followers. All ways to measure myself and feel that I am somehow lacking.
In some ways, it brings up the nagging insecurities that I thought I had left behind in high school and college. "Why is she so popular? How come the quarterback wants to date her? How did she get in that sorority and I didn't?"
It's even more challenging when you are on the north side of the blogging demographics! That makes me feel even more unsure because everyone is so young and pretty!
Then my husband kicks me in the butt and gives me a reality check. He'll say things like, "OK, Diane. I am trying to grasp the significance of (fill in the blank.) Let me see...Haiti or (fill in the blank). Haiti or (fill in the blank)."
That usually makes me realize that I am obsessing about something that, in the scheme of things, is kind of silly!
Sorry...that was a really long comment! :)
Jentine, from the start I have loved your style, but hey, the internet is loaded to the gills with stylish people and I have a JOB and KIDS and I can't follow all the blogs I'd like to. You, my dear, have such an appealing 'voice' with your humour and your honesty and your landscaping and your general tough-cool-badassery, and you are one of only 3 style blogs I check every day. (The other 2 are Gala and Lady Smaggle, because I'm an Antipodean.) Don't let the competitive side of blogging get to you - save you energy for more worthwhile things. I love Linda's suggestion . . . "I really don't care."
I didn't read the other comments yet but..... I know what you mean about jealousy. It is so awful, I hate when I get that feeling! There is always a blog that is going to be bigger and better so we've just got ot suck it up. Thanks for such an honest post, I don't think I could have been so brave.
I just found you today and your comment on the "ugly" side of blogging makes me think you've read my mind. My blog is still a baby (less than two months old), but already the jealousy is finding ways to creep in every now and then. It especially hit me earlier when I found someone who has been blogging for even LESS time than me and my friends and already has almost 200 followers through one reader while we have...one.
What I hate most about the jealousy isn't how it makes me feel towards others (although that's no peach either), but how it makes me feel about myself. Suddenly I'm not fashionable enough, or adventurous enough, or pretty enough, or who knows what. But then I remind myself that I wanted to do this in order to be part of a community I admired, and that neither Rome nor my blog was built in a day. I want the followers and the comments and the community, but I'm willing to wait for them. Thanks for putting concisely what was so hard for me to think through.
-Katie
I really loved this. I agree with pretty much all your goods and bads, and also your ugly. Jealousy is HUGE part of this world. My achilles heel isn't what I can or can't wear or how many followers or comments I have, but the delectable and totally unaffordable pieces I'd love to have. The ones that would make my outfit PERFECT. I've already guilted K into buying me things that way, things we can't afford, and I decided about a month ago that I'm no longer allowed to say that phrase out loud: "If I had that, my life would be better." It's never true, anyway.
My conflicted relationship with notoriety probably has a lot to do with why I don't care so much if my blog is never super popular. I don't think I'm really doing anything to warrant that, anyway. Rumi is supermodel-gorgeous with a talented and driven boyfriend, Jane is intriguingly odd and insanely wealthy, with a mother who supports her goals, Tavi is thirteen or something, right? I'm just a girl from the South with a lot of time on my hands. I don't expect to join their ranks, nor do I really want to. I mean, I do for the free stuff, of course, but that's really it :)
I appreciate your honesty and your intelligence and grace here. I read your blog because I LOVE your classy style, your tough girliness, because I think you're funny and honest and brave, and because I think in real life we'd be friends. And hey, you have WAY more followers than I do! Two hundred, baby!
Thanks for this.
xo
this post is incredibly reflective of the exact same things i am finding in my first year: playing dress up, new found love of thrifting, coaxing the boyfriend to be understanding, and i agree, the green eyed monster can be quite the bitch.
but i absolutely love reading your posts. I always find you to be incredibly down to earth, and your fashion sense is always inspiring!
as always, can't wait to read more :)
I think I get jealous too. But at the same time, I think, wow those other bloggers really know what they are doing or they just have really expensive cameras. And eventually I might get better and maybe buy a better camera, but until then I get to be the cute girl who fumbles through blogging and gets a kick out of it. It's important to have someone supporting you though. And I'm glad my boyfriend makes it a point to read my blog.
I loved this!~
And please note: I can be a jealous bitch too!~ I really struggle with it. A lot. And it makes me feel so much better to hear that others do too. So thank you so much for being honest and brave about that. And know that you are 100% one of my top bloggers and I adore reading you.
"I need to curb it (not fun to write that down) or find a way to turn my passion for clothing into something legitimate. \"
OMG girl. ETSY. Wear stuff until you get bored then sell second (third?) hand. But run all listings by me first. :p
I concur. I feel the same way. The days that I get more comments the better I feel, but who doesn't? Blogging and picture taking and posting are still pure enjoyment for me and I love getting a sneak peak at others lives.
Awww...here's a big blog hug from Texas! Congrats and I totally agree with you about the "ugly" part of your post. Those numbers were starting to mean more so I had to calm down and realize that it's not that serious. It's just a hobby!
Thank you for being so honest. I feel exactly the same way about blogging. Even the jealousy part. It makes me almost feel like a failure when I really start thinking about it. So I just do my best and try to remember that I do it because I love it - not to "win." But it's hard. If it's worth anything to you, I think we should both have thousands of followers and invites to NYFW flooding our inboxes ;)
This is a beautifully reflective post. I'm so glad you talked about "the ugly", because I actually think the jealousy monster is a majorly unfortunate, but unfortunately major part of the blogging community. I try to fight it, too, because I hate myself as a jealous catty girl, but it's definitely still there sometimes. Fab thoughts, as always. I can't wait to see what's in store for you in the coming year!
BFF -- we've reached that status right? Okay good. This post was so perfect. I agree with you on so many things. I would read a bullet point and say "amen!" out loud. My husband thinks I'm crazy, by the way.
Thanks for being so honest on the jealousy issue. That's not an easy thing to put out there. It haunts me as well. It's so hard not to get caught up in the blogosphere. And I spend an indecent amount of time blogging as well. It really is a part time job.
Anyways, I am so glad that you started your blog a year ago! I remember the first time I found your blog I loved every single thing you wore and I still do. I can't wait to see your "Best of" outfits... Oh and yes on the writing, I would read what ever chick-lit novel you produced. Count me in.
Great post! I think its fair to say I agree with everything you said. Even the "ugly" part! I havent been blogging long but that is one of the first things I noticed. I have come to terms with it and learn to get past it (most times but not all) just by trying to learn something about WHY I am jealous and see if its something I can improve on. Keep it up lady blog friend!
goldleafashley.blogspot.com
I found your blog through Interrobangs Anonymous, which I absolutely love. I thought, if you found them then you must be as cool as those gals. I'm glad I dropped by your blog. I get what you're saying. My blog is new but it's not my first. I had a very different theme before but I also felt the ugliness that you felt: the jealousy, the insecurity... My blog is an extension of me, a way of introducing myself to the world. Why won't the world love me back? Am I not interesting enough? Am I so boring? I also felt what the other people who commented here felt: why is this person getting so many followers when she's just parading in front of the camera and not really sharing anything else? What makes her so popular?
Well, this time I'm trying not to let these things bother me. I mean, honestly, they still bother me but I made a promise not to let it get to me. I'm blogging because, like you, I want to share things and meet people who appreciate the things I do. I may not be popular but at least I'm being true to myself. :)
I loved what you wrote. I'll probably spend an hour or two reading your older posts. :) Keep it up!
This is probably one of my favourite posts of yours ever! I found your blog early last spring when you had maybe 4 followers. It instantly became one of my favourites and clearly everyone else’s too! I watched your numbers jump up from 4 followers to now almost 200! ..and as super lame as I feel admitting this, I got a case of the green-eyed monster of you! lol. You have great clothes, hilarious posts and dedicated readers. I’m sure you could post your cat’s litter box with some funny remark and garner at least 10 comments that are all like, ‘oh I love the contrast and colours you used!’
I keep finding these blogs and watching them explode into popularity and can’t help but feel a little envious ;) They share their blog awards and links with their select blog buddies and from afar it sometimes seems a little.. cliquey. But I’m glad to read the comments above from others and feel comforted that I’m not crazy for having a twinge of jealousy every now and then. The amazing blogs/people I have found have far out-weighed any envy I have. I truly admire your writing style and I look forward to your unique posts :)
Thanks so much for writing this and being ‘human’ (lol). Because lady, you make this fashion blogging look so amazingly easy!!
~Lesley
I understand completely.
Since I started blogging, I too have spent more time and $ on clothing. There are a LOT of positives coming out of this, but some negatives as well.
It's hard when you see a blogger with a style you admire when the items she is wearing are out of your price range- you fall in love with said shoe/top/skirt/bag/accessory and you WANT it. Also, when you work hard on your blog and have a few comments a day, it's hard when you visit another blog who has TONS of comments a day. Some even just started up! I think the difference is A) time you have to spend on your blog B) professional cameras and either a remote controlled camera or a person who takes your pictures C) some of the brands you wear (let's face it, some brands are more popular that the others! Anthropologie bloggers have SUCH a following, it's amazing.)
Women are innately competitive- so yes, the pinprick we all probably feel on different levels. I try to ignore it, and be who I am, but it takes concentration!
Hahaha, Linda and Madeline P. I am definately not telling! Especially not now that more attention has been drawn to my comment!! :)
I laughed because I actually did grab breakfast before I started reading this post. It was perfect! Thank you for taking the time to write all this. I'm with the other ladies that I love reading your posts because they make me laugh and I think you have a wonderful personality. It takes a lot for us to put ourselves out there every day, whether it's just an outfit or something deeper like this. Thanks for sharing these thoughts and I can relate to many of them!
I just stumbled upon you blog and what a deep post to find lol. I love your style and great creative pictures! I think this deep post intrigued me to come back soon..
ih and I just became your 200th follower YAY! and now your 40th comment =) lol
Hmmm, this is going to be a long one. I've been wanting to comment for a while now. You are one of the first fashion blogs I ever started reading on a regular basis and because I do it at work and have no idea how this 'follow' thing works, I just check in on you every day. Like a stalker, yes. I heard about your blog on a CBC radio show (yes, I'm that much of a nerd that I listed to the CBC) and was immediately hooked. Not only do I thoroughly enjoy your blog but you have made an impact on my life. I look at my wardrobe a different way, I am more adventurous with my clothes (both new purchases and remixing). I take more chances and have more confidence in how I look (I've worn coloured tights to work!!). I have totally embraced thrifting and LOVE it. As crazy as this sounds, sometimes when I find something, I think 'would *my edit* wear this?'!!! So maybe there are downsides to blogging but you are making a difference and I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your words and, of course, STYLE!
Oh my. You have spoken so many true words. I think it's great that you took on the good, bad and ugly post. It is saying so many things that I"m sure so many of us think. You've helped me clarify some thoughts and feelings I've had since starting blogging only a month and a half ago. Love this. x
Well I'm so glad that you've gotten some good experiences out of it, too. I feel like it eats up a lot of my free time, but it's productive, in a way. And I feel like it encourages creativity, so it can't be that bad, right?
I think you are very brave to be this honest. I have definitely struggled with this. I finally decided that I can't think about it. The more I stress about it, the less fun it is. I refuse to let that kind of stress ruin it for me. But you're not a bad person at all. You're only human - and a damn good one at that!
im so glad that you shared this- i feel the same way about many of these things.. you're an amazing blogger- dont listen to anyone who objects.. p.s. i have that blanket (SO warm!)
xx
and gorgeouss blogg- will definitely be back again visiting SOON!
Thanks so much for putting this out there. I've recently started to notice that the more people talk about their actual feelings and experiences (and their opinions on my opinions) the more my tastes are influenced. I used to be swayed by pretty pictures and outfits alone, but now I'm finding myself admiring bloggers for their personas as well as their clothes, and I love people who can be honest and frank like you have been here. As an almost new blogger I'm struggling with the ideas of readership and following, but also starting to see more and more bloggers as real girls and friends. Thanks for keeping it real.
I love this post, and I can totally relate because I can get jealous and judgey too. It's normal, but when folks open up like you're doing here I can't help but feel friendly and accepting, because frankly it's just rad and makes you seem more like a real person.
I also sometimes feel like I'm in over my head with this blogging stuff. Like I don't know what to do or how to handle crap that comes up. Maybe I need "Blogging for Dummies" too?
Anyway, great post, and happy bloggiversary :)
Yes, Yes, totally feel the jealousy thing, no matter how much I fight it!!
Didn't realize I was your first comment from a fellow blogger! I feel so special :) Happy one year and here's to many more!!!! :)
What a wonderful and insightful post. I've been lurking for a while, and you (and a few other wonderful bloggers, whom I see here in the comments) have inspired me to start a itty bitty insignificant blog of my own, with modest aspiration (help me develop my own style and stop being afraid of of colors, trends, or risks). I think most people who not be able to admit the whole range of emotions you feel, and it's great to hear this as I'm starting.
Also, love the blogging uniform. So true!
this is awesome! i think that your blog is fantastic, and i wouldn't worry too much about a little bit of jealousy. we're women. it happens. just keep doing your thing and loving who you are :D
Are you psychic? because i feel the same way sometimes
i think you've really articulated what everyone hasnt really wanted to post about. i actually just read this twice lol
jealousy is a gene i believe us girls are born with. or at least thats what i tell myself? a little bit here and there is a-ok!
i love reading your blog and you honestly have made me laugh out load laugh numerous times..its also nice to see another blogger out there from hamilton. and bc of you i went to talize today to check out the remains of the 50% off sale. there was nothing but i got a sick blazer..so thank you!
I feel the same way often. Why does X have so many followers? OMG, I lost a follower, they hated me! Why does this outfit get 15 comments and this one gets 4?
I have to keep reminding myself that I blog for ME, and no one else.
Oh, and about the ever-expanding wardrobe: seriously, "one in, one out" - try it! I became ruthless. I am a clean-out machine now (well, sort of) after imposing that rule for a year. I love bundling up my not-worn-in-a-while stuff and taking it down to the consignment shop or giving it away to friends. After all, I've got pictures of the old clothes on the blog - I can see my old stuff anytime I want!
Will pop in again - you seem to have a lot of women who like you. :) That's a good sign.
Cheers,
Sheila
Oh, and I have those same leopard shoes as you're wearing in your banner at the top!
I totally hear you on the time that blogging takes. I've recently been thinking about that, and feeling guilty about the time I spend blogging and reading blogs. Time that I could be exercising, socializing with real life people, working extra hours, sleeping more, reading books, or something "worthwhile". Yet, I do less of those things b/c I spend so much time blogging that, yes, it's the equivalent of a part-time job. I realize that blogging is still new to me, thus the shiny-new-toy syndrome is probably still in play. Hopefully the time I spend on blogging will lessen the longer I do. It will become more a normal part of my life and not a FUN EXCITING thing that I can't wait to get back to. On the other hand, it's great to have a hobby that I'm so excited about.
I don't really feel the jealousy of other bloggers, but I do experience something sort of similar, which is getting down on myself for not being as successful. I see really great photos and think that my photos aren't as good b/c I didn't invest in an expensive camera, or take the time to take photography classes, or take sufficient time each day to set up and style my shoot. I see really great outfits and get down on myself for not being as daring, or classy, or edgy, or youthful, or adult, or professional, or fun, or etc. Not a good thing. Blogging is fun. That's why I do it. Letting it become something I use to beat myself up for being insufficient in some way is so not the point of this activity. I'm looking for style inspiration and ideas that I never would have thought of, and I get that from blogs. I love most of my outfits, and I love having a record of them for myself and sharing them with others who are also into clothes and style. That's why I do this. But sometimes it takes an effort to remind myself of that, and take a step away from it to really see it for what it is.
Wow! I know exactly what you mean... you really nailed all the things I love/hate about blogging. I think you have come so far in only a year - you're popular ma'am! Congrats on a fun year!
yes, i know exactly exactly what you mean (and sent you a rambly email to that effect...)
Happy One Blogaversary! I'm so glad I found you when you left a comment on our site a long long time ago and that I was smart enough to realize right away that you were one to bookmark! It helped that you were from Hamilton, I was instantly intrigued.
So everyone's already pretty much said this: but yes, we all feel the ugly and the jealousy and the obsessiveness and I really could write a second dissertation in the time I'm committing to blogging. But the good is also just so GOOD. Like you, I had no idea how nice fellow bloggers could be and how many friends I would make this way. I am definitely meeting you for that drink or thrift outing the next time I'm in Hamilton! I can't wait!
And like you, I have found out how truly patient and supportive my husband is by having put him through the demands of being a blogger-spouse. I mean, how else would we have come to know and appreciate these things about our significant others? How did marrieds truly get to know each other BEFORE blogging existed?
Anyway, I love your writing and it's one of the things that make me check with your site every time you post, so please please please don't go away or ever hide that honesty and wit.
I look forward to another great year of My Edit! S.
I'm just visiting your blog for the first time because I saw a link to this post elsewhere, but I just wanted to say that your blog is lovely, and also I relate to so much in this post! About all the good things and bad things about blogging (my budget has been shot since blogging, it's so bad...) and also, like almost everyone else above, the very ugly thing too. It's so strange, I don't consider myself a petty or competitive person in real life, but somehow in the virtual world all this petty envy starts creeping out over silly things like page stats and comments and reciprocal blog rolls and other triviality. I've had to remind myself that I started my blog to keep track and develop my own style, and at that, I've been pretty successful, so why worry about the other stuff? Also, banning yourself from looking at your stats page helps :)
Anyhow, thank you for such an articulate post, and am also enamored with the rest of your blog, so I shall return! Take care....
I feel this way all the time! I make myself vaguely sick wishing someone would love me! I'm addicted to style and design blogs, but mostly post art and other thoughts that scuttle across my brain. Perhaps I need a theme or something, I don't know. But anyway, love the blog, and you have a fan here in the suburbs!
I've just stumbled across your blog via a random link so I hope you don't mind the very rambly first comment.
As a very new blogger (only a week into it),I can't say that I understand a lot of the complexities of it - page stats and all that jazz. Followers and comments I understand, everything else is whooshing over my head at this stage. I think it helps that I know quite a few bloggers from an ongoing fashion thread on a (UK based) moneysaving website and they're encouraging me to start off with but I have zilch idea about how to hook in the hoards of followers that some blogs seem to have. Tisn't my main aim in starting a blog to get hundreds of people reading it though, it's just another space for me to get things off my chest and explore a growing love of fashion.
Anyway, to get back on topic (as if I ever seem to manage that for a prolonged period of time), I thought your post was so interesting and really well written and I really admire your honesty. I like to read about more than just pretty clothes. Methinks I'll be another of your followers now :) I do love the internet when it comes to things like this - would I ever be talking to people on the other side of the world without it?
And the intelligence and wit that shines through in some of these comments is wonderful. I think I'll be returning on a day when I have a bit more time so that I can check out some blog links.
Alex
Just bobbed over via a link on Erin's blog (work with what you've got) because she gave this post a shout out... and it's inspiring! And also: something of a relief to hear I'm not alone with my little green monster... I'd never expect to get the numbers high fashion bloggers receive, but I still look at posts like this and think "61 comments? How come I'm Over The Moon when I get 10??"
And regarding the way it takes over your life? Yeah, not so good. I changed job and now work in social media marketing (in a totally different sector) which means work HAVE to give me unlimited access to blogs so I can study what they're doing well and learn by example... Are you buying this?? Thankfully they did. Otherwise I'd probably have to give up work entirely to feed my obsession.
Gonna start following you now. That's another one... two if you count my little green monster!
Love this post and I totally feel the same way about the jealousy and the time issues. I mean I can spend hours hopping around from blog to blog just looking at pictures and reading what other people are up to! Its amazing how addictive blogging can be!
I'm right there with you lady!! In a blogging universe that is sooooo ridiculously big, it's hard not to stumble across the blogs that are "getting the most traffic" and making money just from blogging. Wouldn't it be nice?? haha... But, your style is amazing... and your posts are funny! That's a great combo! I do now get dressed in the morning thinking, "I wonder what the blog world will think of this outfit..." I said it... and now I'm slightly ashamed... :) Anywho, I've rambled... and you're awesome. Stay Classy!
I know I'm a little late in commenting, but I have to say I truly admire your courage in sharing your honest feelings and thoughts on blogging, because evidently we're all not alone in this! I chuckled when I read some of the comments like 'I lost one follower, someone must have hated me!' because I totally relate to that.
THANK YOU for sharing this. You are not only one stylish lady, but your heart behind all this is real and genuine :)
I really appreciated this post. I have been blogging for all the same reasons as you - to get passionate about my writing, and to share some thoughts about fashion. Thank you so much for your honesty about the little green monster. I also consider myself a pretty decent person, and I hate the fact that I let my ego take over sometimes.
I am happiest when I am honest and I keep it real. Like you, I think that's my "brand". So thanks for letting us have a glimpse of your insides, because mine look the same sometimes too.
I loved the part about blog jealousy - I can definately relate to that back in the days when I used to blog often.
A friend I went to highschool with introduced me to your blog - and I must say that I love it! I love how to piece together your outfits, such great style inspiration for me :)
Hope you are having a great day and I look forward to more posts from you.
I've been blogging for FOUR YEARS.
I don't have 200 followers.
So you could say I am a huge jealous bitch over you!
Or we could say that I completely understand. I've had that little green demon over my shoulder everytime I get like ZILCH in the comment department, everytime I see some blogger who started off small become something big...and then there's me, whose style isn't nice or crazy enough to be noticed, whose body is too fat to make clothes look good anyway and who blabbers on way too much about nothing.
Like now haha. But anyway, I'm glad you did this post and I am glad to see other people are totally onboard.
I've just come to accept I'll never be "popular" just like I never was. But that doesn't mean my blog hasn't paid off in other ways either!
Lusty
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Wow! It seems I am reading this post 4-5 years on as I am reaching out for some inspiration for my blog.. I love the honesty in this post. It's exact how i feel. As I said I've just started blogging and I'm blogging bc I love fashion and friends have told me that I inspire them with outfits.. I am finding it sooo hard though!! To be consistent and to find inspiration.. I think I am too fixed on the followers.. And also I'm not really sure how it all works on that side.. I can see people viewing my posts but there are no followers as such of comments..
Anyway, I'm glad I stumbled across your blog.
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