2010-10-26

Done and Done

dressdone3

dressdone4


If I were to write a letter to my future self (which I am pretty much doing right now, I guess), I would tell myself to never, EVER again spend the summer buying and selling a house (twice because the first time it all fell through, though the effort was there), making 2 wedding dresses and 6 bridesmaids dresses, taking night courses, trying to maintain a decent blog, landscaping full time, keeping up social appearances and failing at being a decent wife, daughter and friend.

I try to keep a chipper attitude on this blog but there have been times this summer where I have felt like I was one broken needle away from a major breakdown. And so, two weekends ago, when I finished my final wedding dress I wanted to run out and kiss the first person I saw. As long as that person was Matt, my Mom, my Dad or the mailman... It's still busy around here, we are moving in a few weeks and I have approximately a whole lot of nothing packed, but it feels so good to be done with dresses for a while. It's my fault for taking on the work, it always seems manageable until life snowballs and I'm working, sewing, blogging and ignoring Matt on a daily basis. It's hard to work outside physically all day and then get yourself in the mind frame to sew an invisible zipper in. And often I wouldn't sew because I was tired and I had 56 things to do... and then the guilt would set it. Every night this summer I was either busy sewing or feeling guilty about not sewing... and then feeling even guiltier because Matt would pick up my household slack without a complaint while I stressed out like a frantic bitch. I hate to use the word bitch (ok, it sometimes slips in) but I can't lie... I'm like a polititian really... Honestly, my customers are usually really sweet but all this dressmaking hasn't made me any happier, richer or anywhere closer to figuring out what I'm doing with my life.
Last week, a few days after the dress was delivered, I went out at night to see a movie and then caught up on blogs for about 3 hours and I didn't feel guilty at all. I did feel stupid when I could hardly keep my eyes open at work the next day but guilty? No.

While I really love this last dress (short, bow and bubble hem? eee! And to top it off a beautiful bride and blue pumps... can't wait for professional pictures!) and I think it's so cute that I want to reach out and pinch its cheeks, I think this will be my last custom dress for a year. Never say never because my Grade five punk ass said I would never wear bell bottoms and look where that got me... but I am saying, on the record, that dressmaking and I are on an official break. Please respect our privacy as we go through this difficult time (if you see tabloid photos of my sewing mahine and I, it's because I'm working on my mending pile) ... I know I don't want to sew for a living and somehow I need to make thrifting, blogging, dressing and landscaping fit together like a good pattern mix.

dressdone

24 comments :

Hannah said...

I didn't realize you landscaped. Do you like it (when you're not so busy)? My boyfriend is in Landscape Arch. right now.

Oh and I definitely made a 96 on my horticulture test. Not that it matters...lol.

This semester has been that same way for me. Crazy hours for school, full time job hours for homework, and an actual part time job, and a life (uh? not so much). The poor people who love me.

I'm glad you have a break though. The dress is lovely!

Kjrsten said...

that dress looks radical! dying to see it on the bride, with her cute shoes (and ooooh-la-la-legs!) Please share when you get some!

Natasha said...

The dress is beautiful...I think I can somewhat relate to the sewing aspect of things...
because I sew alot people assume that I LOVE to sew...and the truth is I love the end product, I love being able to take an idea and turn it into something beautiful..but I don't love to sew...but if I want the end result I have to sew...I totally understand why you would take a break...if only more people could see that there's alot that goes into making a beautiful garment...

Lindsey P. said...

Good for you for taking a break. Even if it's something you love to do, it helps to step away from it for a while. Then you can return to it with renewed passion. Or not at all.
And you're right, that dress is radical in all the right ways. I wore something similar for my wedding (blue shoes and all) and it was wonderful. You're so talented. :)

Glitter Scrubs said...

oh gosh woman, you are just as busy! I'd say more so too! At least you accomplish things. I just run around in circles pulling my hair out and shouting at the computer screen for this paper to write itself. The good news is, my whole livingroom is spotless.. ah procrastination. Sounds like you and your husband have a great system going on.. that's what teams do when one is feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Good man. And talented you! I think I heard a collective world wide whimper when you announced a dress-making break. If it means more blogging though we'll be satisfied.

Nadine said...

Stressing out of your head and you're still funny! (Tabloid photos! Snort!)

I know just what you mean about being too busy. I have had some stern looks from family and friends lately, and I am embarking on Operation Fix My Life. It's terrible when saying yes to work (money!) takes its toll on physical and emotional well-being. What I am trying to say is, I feel ya, sister. :)

Nadine said...

PS - I REALLY LOVE these short wedding dresses you've been making!

Emma at Daily Clothes Fix said...

Glad you got through it all OK. Enjoy your break. I hope all the blushing brides appreciate your hard work.

Between Laundry Days said...

This post rings so true for me. I've been majorly struggling with the same feeling of being massively overwhelmed with stuff to do (except that my day job isn't as awesome as landscaping...staring at Excel spreadsheets; and my extra job isn't as awesome as dress-making...staring at Excel spreadsheets), and I've had such a hard time getting motivated, losing the guilt when I need a day off, and not jumping down everyone's throats every time I see them.

The dress is beautiful, and I'm glad you're getting the chance to take a break from it. I hope you get to center yourself a bit and relax. Hugs! :)

briannelee said...

Congrats on finishing! Its so cute! I am also going to wear blue shoes. I found them at Savers for $6. Love it ;)

Kelly said...

Wow! You do have a lot going on! You should be so proud of yourself for getting through it all!

tomorrowneverknowsfashion said...

I feel ya woman.
Work 40 hours + commute 15 hours a week (wow FML on that last one) + 4 hours of school a week (plus homework/final projects) + taking photos/editing/blogging + the etsy shop (which consequently hasnt been updated in over a month) + family/bf/friends = always feeling guilty when im watching tv or surfing the net.
So in conclusion, I understand. It's pretty awesome you've made wedding dresses tho. (awesome!!) So even tho u arent richer or famouser, you done good.

Hope said...

You're right, the dress is lovely!

I think it's really good that you're accepting your own limitations, and taking a break. With all the tasks that you mentioned, I don't know how you did it either! I hope you enjoy your well-deserved break. :)

Future Lint said...

What a sweet dress! Good for you, taking time off! People are always asking me to sew/screenprint/make things for them and I'm all "SURE!" and then I start to resent them when I run out of time for doing other stuff because I am making something I didn't really want to in the first place but couldn't say no... it's a terrible cycle.

cuppycakeme said...

LOVE that dress! Would be adorable with a colored pair of heels... Whatever the colors are :)

http://www.cuppycakeme.blogspot.com

Healthy and Homemade said...

You are seriously Wonder Woman. Holy crap you need a break! Vacation time =) The dress is lovely!

Emily Kennedy said...

Good for you woman! Take a break! It's definitely best to work on creative projects when you feel the inspiration to do so. Until that inspiration returns, best to stay away and let it foment. Great job on all the amazing stuff you've accomplished recently!

Lauren said...

I'm glad that you're not taking a break from blogging - your outfits are such a creative inspiration, I would hate to see you stop, even if for a little while! Thank you for taking the time to post pretty pictures for us!!

Small Time Style

megannielsen said...

I didn't realise you sewed! That dress looks super cute!! But I can totally understand you needing a break from it!

Natalya's Closet said...

Yes, I am VERY familiar with trying to do too much at once in life!!! Recently I cut back a few activities and re-prioritized and simplified, which is making me feel A LOT better. That dress is beautiful! XOXO, Natalya's Closet

MUA said...

First , This dress is absolutely gorgeous (lucky bride !)...
It seems that you can breathe now, enjoy this little time out you're giving yourself !

Caro xxx

Leah said...

The dress is stunning!

Personally, I would have broken down a LONG time ago if I were you!

Congrats on getting everything together-ish!

A.Co said...

Oh man, what a summer it seems to have been!! I know the feeling... guilty when you're doing something else, totally beat when you're doing it. I have a small jewellery business (which doesn't exactly compare to making WEDDING dresses, but...) and when I have a show coming up and I'm not working on the collection, major guilt, and then I'm only screwing myself in the end.

Glad to hear the mayhem is coming to a.. sort of end ;) and that you are putting your foot down... for now ;)

A.Co @ A.Co est. 1984

Erin @ Dear Edna said...

Do I ever relate to this post! Thanks so much for writing it! With a full-time job, small business and blog, I really struggle to keep it all together on top of keeping myself happy and healthy. The guilt is the worst isn't it? My mantra lately is 'All I can do is my best' and if I start to feel like I'm drowning, I try to take a step back and put things into perspective. Is anything worth burning out over? That being said, sewing a wedding dress is scary pressure. Good on you for getting it all done and taking your much needed break (although I think you deserve a much longer one). xo